Friday, January 26, 2007

Isn't it romantic?

Understanding human behavior - especially how it relates to love and romance - is important for the romance novelist. Here are some links so you can avoid real writing...

"Romance novels also can provide opportunities for learning about adult loving relationships," says Dr. Bill Emener on his blog, Dr. Bill's Harley Wisdom. Emener has been a licensed psychologist for 33 years and is the author of self-help book Adult Loving Relationships, and romance novels Fear of Feeling Loved and My Sweetpea: Seven Years and Seven Days.

In his post, Emener talks about three distinct stages of adult loving relationships and how they relate to real life as well as romance novels. Check it out.

John Bowlby believed psychoanalytic view that early experiences in childhood have an important influence on development and behavior later in life. Our early attachment styles are established in childhood through the infant/caregiver relationship. In addition to this, Bowlby believed that attachment had an evolutionary component; it aids in survival. He devoted extensive research to the concept of attachment and came up with his own theory, which you can find here. Click here for more on Bowlby's Attachment Theory.

The people we're most attracted to are those who have a blueprint that complements our own. We're looking for similarities of experience but, more significantly, we're also looking for differences. Read more about the Unconscious Fit.

How to be romantic.

Romance 101 includes articles on Manhood, Murphys Laws On Sex, and Intimacy (short, but makes a good point for writers).

What about you? Got any tips on romance?


Rene said...

Don't have kids!

Dr. Bill Emener said...

Hi Nienke,

First I want to thank you for the ultimate compliment-- linking my blog to your Post. And please know that I am touched by your very gracious comments and compliments.

Secondly, in my graduate course, Marriage and Couples Counseling and Therapy, I teach a section on Bowlby's Attachment Theory. Great information for romance writing! And where I find it critically attached to my novels (no pun intended) is in the area of "commitment phobia" (and we all know how powerful and galvanizing those emotions can be). Great Post!

Again, thanks so much... and for sure, I'll be back!


Rashenbo said...

Heheheh, just in time for Valentine's eh?

Tess said...

Don't get complacent - never take your loved one for granted. Kiss hello and goodbye and mean it :-)

LOL re Rene's tip *g*.

Anonymous said...

Romance is a nebulous thing with the curious property of being describable but not definable. We won't muck with your head and try to suggest there's an ultimate definitive definition out there.